7 Common Mistakes Parent make with their Children

In my spinsterhood days, I always thought about wanting children and how I would love them and make them happy. But now being a parent, I found it’s not that easy. We want our children to become healthy, happy, well-adjusted, successful, honest, caring, responsible adults who will be respectful of others' feelings and property, be able to get along with others and to cope with difficulties! It is a lot to ask.

Becoming a parent does not come with an instruction manual for all the things you will face. It is one of the most important and difficult things you can do. It is also one of the most rewarding. No matter how hard we try, there are still some common mistakes parent make when dealing with their kids.

And I'm not only talking about teenagers but children of all ages.

Here are some common mistakes we parent make with our kids:

1. Talk Down To: This method of specking start from when they are kids. They don’t need to be talk to any different from when you are talking to a friend. As they grow up, they don’t need to be spoken to as babies. They understand more of what is happening around then and would want to be treated as grown up. I’ve seen grown up being treated as if they are still in dippers and this doesn’t go down well with them.
2. Making Their Decisions for Them: Most parents make this common mistake. This is just robbing them of their personality. Although there are some decisions we as parent are expected to that when it come to the care of our kids, like what to eat, how to dress, when to go to bed… But as a parent we should not impose our will on them like you wanting to rush them through school, wanting them to have a particular profession or making some other personal decisions for them. Let them develop their independent attitude, that way they can stand on their own. We have to trust them do the right thing and have faith in them. As parent we can only guide them and advise our growing kids, but the major decision making should be left to them.
3. Doing Too Much for Then: We parent love our kids sometimes to the point that we don’t want them to do anything. We do all their house chores for them, instead of letting them experience adversity, we clear the path and any obstacles that might come their way and give them a false hope that this world is a perfect place. We have to teach our kids how to take care of themselves and be independent as that is the only way they can learn to be their own person. Having a child constantly and completely dependent on others may not look as a big deal to the parent, but it will end up frustrating them when they are fully grown up.
4. Not paying Enough Attention: Some parent because of their busy schedules making money or building up their careers, neglect or ignore their kids and leave their children to nannies or house-help for their up-bring. In this cases, communication with their children is reduced to the barest minimal.  The importance of communication cannot be overemphasized; it prevents a lot of disasters. When you talk with your children, it not only makes them happy and gives them a sense of belonging, it also makes it possible to know what is going on in their lives, their school, their health, whether they are being abused physically or emotionally etc. Communicating with them helps you know and understand them better. Leaving your children to be looked after by house-helps and nannies in their most delicate phase, childhood is one big mistake that many parents make.
5. Yelling:  Have you ever thought of the fact that you can get your kids to listen to you without yelling at them? Yes it’s very possible, but some parents yell at every little thing, whether it is worth yelling about or not. Most of the time, you’ll achieve more by just talking to them than raising your voice at them. If you’ve been shouting for years and things are still the same, why don’t you try just talking? A wise person said it is only a mad man that does the same thing over and over again and expects a different result. Talking passes the message more than yelling. Raining curses on children at every little mistake is also a no-no, and achieves nothing.  If you are guilty of this, please stop, because words play a great role in shaping one’s life.
6. Negative Talks: Children being who they are will definitely make mistakes that are sometimes terrible, but as parents the best thing to do is to correct them within the confines of your home. By telling the whole world how terrible your children are, you are indirectly telling people that you failed in your responsibility of raising your child properly. Talking about children’s flaws or mistakes not only embarrasses them but may also be a form of hindrance to them in future, because the negative information might one day be used against them. Instead, speak well of your kids; this is so important. Praise them especially in public, focus on their strengths while working on their weakness. Speaking well of them will not only make them confident, but will also encourage them to change. If you know and they know that what you’re saying about them especially in public isn’t exactly the case, they’ll be compelled to live up to the positive standards that you paint for them.
7. Set Boundaries: This is a common mistake among busy parents. They don't set boundaries for when their child needs to be home or how a homework schedule needs to be run. When I was a little kid, as soon as I came home I had to do my homework. I would grumble, but it was so much better to get it out of the way first thing. Having a curfew is important, until you feel your child is able to make these decisions on his/her own and can be responsible for keeping track of time on his/her own.