WHY DO MARRIED WOMEN CHEAT ON THEIR HUSBANDS

If you're under the impression that it's mostly men who cheat on their wives, then you are mistaken. Many married women are seeking affairs for romance and sexual satisfaction without any plans of divorcing their partner.

The first question that comes to mind when a spouse cheats is WHY? There are many reasons but here is just a few:

-The most common cause for a married woman to cheat is if she finds her husband cheating on her, she feels betrayed and sees herself as not being sexy enough to hold her husband’s affection or attention. She seeks for relationship outside her matrimonial home either to get back at her husband or to reconfirm her sexuality and ability to be desired by the opposite sex

-When Lola and her husband moved to Abuja from Lagos a few a years ago, she had no friends close by and was alone frequently while her husband worked long hours. Though Lola says her husband was the "best friend someone could have," the spark and sex were gone.

Seeking company and a little romance, Lola became a member of a dating website that connects married people wanting to have an affair. Lola began an ongoing affair after a few dates with a man. "He was giving all of the stuff my husband wasn't -- attention and affection," she says

In Lola’s case, she misses having quality time with her husband.

-Kemi, a Banker who is happily married to her Lawyer husband has an insatiable appetite for sex, and goes as far as having sex with both male and female. In her case she just can’t stay a day without having sex and she is not satisfied with just one sex partner.

Kemi, stayed in her marriage because to her she still want the respect of being in a stable relationship and being called a married woman despite her going about having sexual relationship with multiply sexual  partners.

-Shade, has been married for over 12 years with four kids. But unfortunately none of those kids belong to her husband or one father. She claims the Doctor told her, her husband would not be able to impregnate her and she took it upon herself to have affairs and give birth to kids that were not her husband’s.

Some married women revealed that their husbands have weak erection or impotent and can’t satisfy their sexual appetite and that is why they go out of their home to find satisfaction.

-Some other factors why married women are promiscuous in an African setting are the issue of polygamy. A man that has multiply wives would have to be a superman if he claims he can satisfy all of them at the same time. With women having different sexual appetite, some women want sex more frequently than others.

-Difference in age is also another factor. A man of 65 years getting married to a lady of 25year. I wonder how this two can have a successful sexual compatibility. The lady is at the age where her sexual urge is at its peak and the man would find it difficult to meet sexual needs

-Greed for wanting more of material things that a husband can’t afford on his salary dives some married women out of their home into the arms of other men.

 I once saw Ireti, a married woman and my neighbor’s wife in a car with another man smooching very close to my dry-cleaners place. I was so shocked because to me her husband gave her everything she need. She noticed me and came to my flat later that evening. When I confronted her and asked why she behaved in such a manner, her only defense was that her husband was not capable of giving her all material things she needed. I was surprised by her reply.

-An inability to communicate often leads to relationship conflicts going unresolved. In these particular cases, the lack of resolution or change in future behavior left the women feeling frustrated, and many voiced a concern that while problems were recognized, no progress was made to fix them. ‘We would try and he would say, you know, I’m (going) to do better….and he never would
The researcher concluded that a lack of communication was a precursor to cheating: "In each case, the attraction to marital infidelity began to grow for the women because the unresolved issues continued to be a source of conflict in the marital relationship, pushing the women further away from their spouses."

Research shows that 34% of women who had affairs were happy or very happy in their marriage. 56% of men who had affairs were happy in their marriage.