Make no mistake, flirting is a skill, an art form, that some
people are naturally good at and others, like me, have had to work at. If
flirting is not your forte, then like any other skill, the only way for you to
improve is with practice.
Flirting is an
expression of the vibes, feelings and interaction between two people who are
fully engaged, totally present and completely enthralled in any given moment.
There are many kinds of flirting. The ‘first meet’ is where I take
you into the field of flirting with a few of my own simple tips and insights
that will bring out the flirt in you.
Here are 11 Tips of Flirting:
1. Make Eye contact: If you walk into a room, or go someplace and see someone you are immediately attracted to you, you will
naturally look at them. And nine out of ten times they will feel your energy and
turn to you or the other way around. The energies of the eyes are strong and
the receiver can feel it. When they turn your way, do not look
away. Keep looking at them. I do not encourage winking because it’s rather
cheesy. It’s the looking of the gaze that will melt you away and bring
out your flirtatious nature and it hints if the other person is feeling you.
Those few seconds may seem like eternity. Then…
2. Smile: Not just with your lips but also with your eyes.
There is nothing more dazzling than smiling eyes. They are sexy and heart
melting. Let your smile light up the room, from a light smile to a bright one
that reveals you in a vulnerable, yet strong way. Let your smile naturally
fill your organs and your entire body, making all of you beam a radiant smile
at your target. After the gaze and the smile, gently return your attention to
the moment... your moment.
3. Move your Body: This one is easier than it sounds.
There’s no need to have any moves in mind or practice any steps. When your eyes
make contact and your lips turn up into a crescent moon smile, your body will
follow and do its own dance. Get out of your mind and into your
body. Descend into your heart and trust your body.
Just make sure you are aware of your feet touching the earth so that you do not
slip, twist or fall. Lengthen your spine and let your attention drop into the
tail of your spine. Flirting is a natural bodily response to external stimuli
that activates the good hormones. You just have to go with it.
4. Speak up: Utter
a few words acknowledging your crush. A simple ‘Hi’ can go a long way.
Then notice what they are doing or see what’s around you two and ignite a
conversation based on it. If that doesn’t come together easily, then by
all means give them a compliment. I love complimenting a man on what’s organic
about him, like his features, his eyes, his smile, or the way he expresses
through his hair. Men with long beautiful locks are easy to compliment but it
would be difficult to do so with a bald headed guy. I think if you went for the
lips or his buns it may turn up the flame a bit too high and too
quick. You don’t want that, you want to be subtle.
5. Introduce yourself or maintain the Mystery: If you’re going to introduce yourself, a first
name is sufficient. Remember it’s a ‘flirtatious’
moment not a business meeting. Besides, you’re not wearing a
name tag so make it easy to remember. For me, I have a flirt name and then
there’s my real name. I choose according to the situation. If you choose to
remain a mystery, then refrain from giving your name. Make them work a bit
harder to get you to tell your name. Then when you decide to tell your
name, whisper it in their ear. What a sexy unveiling of the mystery.
6. Ignite a Conversation: You both should be in close proximity by
now, hopefully a few inches apart and of course, not yelling across a room or a
street. Find some common grounds with this person. You may both be at an
event with a theme or focus, or you may be ordering the same meal or
your kids may attend the same school or you may be standing in the same voting
line. Use your discretion in bringing up a conversation. Or be ready and
mindful of the one he/she may ignite. Just keep it light and no heavy on the
personal stuff. Avoid any debates or harsh criticisms and certainly no
complaints. In fact, if he/she begins to complain then I would take it as a
warning sign and immediately turn off the flirt switch. Flirting is what
butterflies do with flowers. Touch, sniff, taste and go, nothing serious, dark
or heavy they just leave the light scent of a trail behind.
7. Be Mindful of Body Cues: Keep
yourself open and flowing, this will manifest through your body language.
Crossed legs or arms are an indication that you are not open. Tension in your
neck and shoulders may be a warning. Pay attention to your body and how you
feel. Looks can be deceiving but your body knows. Always stand or sit
facing the other person you are attracted to. Angle your torso toward him or
her, or point your feet in their direction. Keep your face unwrinkled.
Sometimes, stress, sadness and unresolved anger can show up in a person’s face.
Make sure you are pleasant, peaceful and at ease in your face and body. All of
these facial signs can project and speak of your inner world. You want to
create a pleasant inner first and see it come out.
8. Break the Touch Barrier: More
times than not, it may be perfectly okay to initiate touch. And I don’t mean in an overly insinuating
way nor clumsy way like falling or tripping over something or your crush, but
more so in a safe and slightly conveying way. You are transmitting to them that
you like them and feel comfortable enough with yourself and the moment. You
may choose to brush against them gently as you make your way by or may remove
an imaginary speck of dirt or dust on their arm or clothes. No face! In the
event that he/she does really have something on their face, then you can let
them know or say nothing. It has to feel natural inside of you. The
supermarket can be a meet market.
9. Keep it Short:To
keep demand up, the supply must be scarce. Keep the sensual brush with
human nature short and brief. No dragging it on or the rush to create an
impromptu date. Not a good idea! You want to make your self be known and felt
like a very nice and arresting breeze appearing out of nowhere, blankets you
then moves on leaving an aromatic hint that leaves them dazzled and curious.
10. Wrap it Up: Is there a difference between the gal/guy that
asks you for her/his number or the one that gives you theirs? Well, I’ll let
you figure that out. If there was a click then perhaps you two can meet up
for a date. An event, or gathering or anything that is open and public would be
a good start. You could even plan to meet at a library or coffee shop, someplace
simple. And generally, if you both feel a need to exchange numbers, I would
give a voice mail number, not a cell or home number. It’s just best to play the
game in a detached way to once again obtain sustainable outcome, if not thing
at all. A smile that includes eyes and body can go a long way.
11. Play the Law of Attraction: The law of
attraction is
a component of the game of flirting. And it derives from what appears to be a
natural order. When you take flirting as a shift in the energy field of love
vibrations, though for a fleeting moment, it can leave a mark that carries
sustainable results. Every flirtatious moment can present conversations of
possibilities: a moment to intermingle and connect with another projection of
your self-portrait, lovers engaged in the stroke of the brush that gradually
paints their most intimate and perpetual love bond.
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