Ways to make yourself happy

Want to be happier? Begin by being good to yourself. That may sound self-evident, but too many people skip this step and try to make themselves happy by chasing ever-higher goals or holding themselves to ever-greater standards of perfection.

Ironically, being good to yourself instead will bring you closer to achieving those lofty ambitions The more you value yourself, especially at work, the more you build yourself confidence.

In fact, the happiest people go out of their way to treat themselves right and they do something nice for themselves each day. They set appropriate boundaries and take care of themselves by saying no to things when they need to. When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don't want to do is an act of kindness, and you don't walk around with negative feelings toward the person who asked you to do something you didn't want to do.

Not only is being kind to yourself good for your career, it's good for your relationship too. The more you build self-love, the more you have to give to others.

Here are 11 acts of kindness happy people perform for themselves--and so should you:

1. Commit to doing one nice thing for yourself every day.

It’s so easy as women to advocate and commit to others but when it comes to doing this for ourselves – we back away. I believe it’s because we are hard-wired to take care of others. We are also nurtured to do this. We are rewarded as children for doing thoughtful things for others but not for speaking up and asking for what we need or want.

 Making and keeping commitments, especially to yourself, will help you to keep moving forward in the direction of your dreams despite any short-lived cravings to play it small, play it safe and play it comfortable.

2. Listen to yourself.

That is, listen to how you talk to yourself, and the internal tone of voice you use. (Mine tends to resemble my mother's in a lecturing mode.) We often criticize ourselves in our own heads and that brings down our confidence. When you love yourself, you know you're good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms.

3. Forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is a big part of it. It's hard; because most of us have been getting angry at ourselves for all the things we do wrong all our lives. People get into trouble because they try so hard to be perfect and then they beat themselves up when they're not. Loving yourself means accepting that you're stuck inside your own imperfect skin. Look in the mirror and say to your image, 'I love you and I forgive you.

4. Accept yourself as you are right now.

For starters, that means accepting the body that you have today. Body image is a big stumbling block, and so is age. When you love yourself, you try to be the best person you can be in the body that you have, and that's as much as you can do.

Self-acceptance also means accepting your income and success level as they are. It's OK not to be making a certain amount by the time you get to a certain age.

5. Eliminate toxic people in your life and workplace.

This may be easier said than done, but avoid tying yourself to clients, business partners, investors, or employees, who make you unhappy. It's obviously harder to take the same approach with family members, but there's no reason to put up with people saying or doing things that are unkind. If people say mean things to me, I let them know if they talk to me like that I'm going to walk away or hang up the phone.

6. Prioritize your health.

We live in a fast-food culture, where grabbing a burger at the drive-thru is certainly easier than running to the store, buying groceries, coming home and cooking. We sit for long periods of time at our desk or behind the wheel of our car driving our kids from one place to the next. But its time for you to look at the bigger picture.  Sometimes we may not realize the affect those easy, often unhealthy decisions we make now, have on our health and our future.

Cut down on the stress in your life.  I know this is hard, but take a minute to write a list of what and who stresses you out and limit the activities and the people who cause you the most stress. Take a minute during the day to take a deep breath, relax and just enjoy the moment..

7. Stop skipping meals.

"People say, 'I've been so busy I had no time to eat today,”. That's a very unloving thing to do. Grab something, even if it's just a salad.

Neuroscience tells us that letting your blood sugar sink send stress signals   to your brain. So if you truly can't stop and grab a meal, make sure you have healthy snacks at your desk.

8. Breathe!

Don't forget that when you're feeling stressed, overworked, or upset, simple breathing exercises can up your happiness quotient dramatically. If you do some deep breathing during the day, you can calm yourself down and not let stress get to you or make you sick.

9. Give yourself a welcoming space.

Give yourself the time and space to just be. Allow yourself to slow down and relax with silence. It’s lovely to be comfortable enough with someone you care about to not always have to talk to fill the silence. And it’s even lovelier to enjoy time alone, doing things you enjoy or giving yourself some downtime. You don’t always have to be doing something. Try to just be and enjoy the peacefulness it can bring.

10. Get some sunlight.

A lot of people work in dark spaces. That's very unhealthy and unloving (except for photographers who work in a dark room to develop their pictures). Try to work in a place where you have access to natural light, if that's not possible, invest in full-spectrum light bulbs. Either way, make sure to get outside for a walk as often as you can.

11. Buy premium products for yourself.

Does this sound like you? If you're bringing a bag of coffee to someone else, you pick out a luxury brand in a nice package, but if you're buying it for yourself, you pick the store brand or another inexpensive option. That's fine if you're one of these people to whom all coffees taste alike. But if you prefer the more expensive brand, you should go for it.